Chapter 1 – This Day has Gone to Shit

Welcome to the Underdark

Hi all, elsondwarf here with my not dead chapter! Change of plans to what I said earlier, plot’s changed completely but I will still integrate what was going on  before with this somehow. It’s more light novel-y mixed with sassy girl from Wattpad action novels?

Anyway, I think this is for the better so enjoy reading.

P.S. The chapters are shorter but will be more frequent.

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“We are one, we shall not be apart, we promise to cherish and to hold each other. In the name of the Seven Divines and countless others who remain unnamed, we uphold this vow together till death do us part.” Marriage Vows of the Multus Divines.

Men say the darnedest things. Stuff like “Hi, I’m God” or “You’ve Died, Sorry“. If you’re thinking I’ve got something wrong here then please be my guest but that’s the first of many words that got me throttling the man in front of me, presumably forever?

Let me elaborate.

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“Hi there… Gwen right?” <God>

Ok, I’ve gone mad. First I get in a stupid argument that I really should not have had about the colour of my hair, then I fall asleep having some kind of kinky dream in a dungeon that I will Not go in to great detail about and now in the middle of doing my hair, which is being awful by the way, I think I’m in a white space talking to some middle aged man in a white robe which does not suit his beard.

“Ah don’t worry, you’ve not gone mad. All of that can be explained.” <God>

Oh my god, did he just read my mind?

“Ahaha, yes I did.” <God>

That’s so weird, isn’t that some kind of privacy invasion or something?

“Moving on, as you might have guessed but here’s the statement anyway. Hi, I’m God.” <God>

Uhh, hi God. What am I doing here? Some kind of major secret that involves the world we live in and only I can save the day?

“Sorry love, this ain’t that kind of movie.” <God>

What?

“I’ve always wanted to say that, Anyway big news that will change your life. It’s ended!” <God>

Magically, red and blue firework explosions gone off all over the place as if this was first prize in a magical lottery. Yup this is gonna piss me off.

You’re joking, right?

“Ahaha, I thought this would go better if I said it like that. Well here’s the blunt of it, I made a rock go in the wrong direction at quite the pace. You’ve died, sorry.” <God>

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And now you’re on the right page which contains an angry girl throttling a god who’s turning bluer by the sacred bloody second, desperately making funny hand signals.

“Uncle, Uncle!” <God>

Uncle? Uncle? You killed me you little shit!

“That’s a fair point but can’t you let me off this once? I’ll even reincarnate you!” <God>

This made my hands loosen and speak up, with my actual voice this time.

“For real?” <Gwen>

“Yes, there’s a slight change but you’ll be the same as you are now and…” <God>

“DONE!” <Gwen>

“I haven’t finished explaining about the possible dange…” <God>

“Done! I don’t care about dangers, I get to live again!” <Gwen>

“Fine, but remember I tried to warn you.” <God>

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So how was that?

Better or worse then normal?

Anyway, that’s how it’s going to be from now on so I hope you’ll enjoy ^^

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