Chapter 2 – Always read the Small Print

Welcome to the Underdark

“‘Where does the light start mama?’ Said the boy,
‘from our lords the divines my son.’ Said the mother,
‘Then where does it end mama? he asked once more,
‘With little bird my son.’ told the mother.”

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Ahh, this is the life…

The peaceful swaying of the trees, the gentle flowing of the river, the vibrant blue of the Menu hovering in front of my face… It reminds me of what that idiot of a god said, or at least tried to say, ‘possible dangers’. I should have really let him finish.

Anyway, no time to moan, let’s check this out!

STATUS
NAME: GWEN ALVAREZ
HEALTH STATUS: FINE
MENTAL STATUS: FINE
STRENGTH: 8
MIND: 12
AGILITY: 7
DEXTERITY: 11
———
SKILLS KNOWN
OBSERVE [LVL – 1]
PSYCHOTIC [LVL – 1]
———
NAMES & TITLES
NONE

That little… I only gave him a little punishment and he calls me a psycho! I mean sure I almost killed God, a.k.a. the almighty saviour of the world, but he deserved it!

PROFICIENCY IN PSYCHOTIC HAS INCREASED BY 1%

“…” <Gwen>

Anyway, back to testing!

—

After 3-ish hours of rigorous testing in a completely scientific manner, I have concluded I need someone who knows what they are doing to find out anything useful.

On the plus side, I’ve found out how to partially interact with the menu so the tacky blue is now a cute pink! I call that a victory any day.

TITLE GAINED “POINTLESS RESEARCHER”
SKILL GAINED “AESTHETICALLY MINDED”

… I can live with this.

“uhh hello?” <God>

By this familiar voice in my head I can guess who this is, what trouble am I in this time?

“For the love of… you put me inside a game?” <Gwen>

“I did try to tell you about the differences.” <God>

“You’re such an incompetent…” <Gwen>

“Moving on, I’ve done something I shouldn’t have and reincarnated you in the world of another God. Now she’s a bit annoyed due to the spiritual registry she has to  account for.” <God>

“Meaning?” <Gwen>

“I’ve pushed all my paperwork onto her and now I can’t help you any more, teehee.” <God>

This left me physically speechless, he is The God right? Not just some lazy brat they just happened to have?

“So from now on you’re on your own! Bye~” <God>

“Hey, just wait a moment!” <Gwen>

Ahh he’s gone, men are so frustrating sometimes, pushing their problems onto other people. Speaking of which, didn’t he say something about a pissed off Goddess?

This is seriously bad! Now I’m in between a rock and a hard place, otherwise known as a different world and an angry Goddess!

I need an adult, maybe a city or a random passerby will come around for plot convenience!

New Message from God

“Nope, ain’t happening! ^^”

I kinda expected that, in any case, I need help.

Fast.

—

A woman comes bursting in, her dyed red face seething in anger.

“WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST DO?”<Person 2>

“Ahahah, hi dear”<Person 1>

“DON’T CALL ME DEAR! DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU’VE DONE?”<Person 2>

“But it was my responsibility to see her reincarnated.” <Person 1>

“WITH THAT? IN MY WORLD?” <Person 2>

“Don’t be so stingy, what’s the worst that can happen? <Person 1>

“We will see.” <Person 2>

The woman who was most definitely on her period stormed off out of the room.

“And quit that stupid commentary!” <Person 2>

“Ahahah, whoops.” <Person 1>

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This chapter was originally half the size so I’m impressed that it was doubled. Anyway, how was it? like where this is going?

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Chapter 1 – This Day has Gone to Shit

Welcome to the Underdark

Hi all, elsondwarf here with my not dead chapter! Change of plans to what I said earlier, plot’s changed completely but I will still integrate what was going on  before with this somehow. It’s more light novel-y mixed with sassy girl from Wattpad action novels?

Anyway, I think this is for the better so enjoy reading.

P.S. The chapters are shorter but will be more frequent.

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“We are one, we shall not be apart, we promise to cherish and to hold each other. In the name of the Seven Divines and countless others who remain unnamed, we uphold this vow together till death do us part.” Marriage Vows of the Multus Divines.

Men say the darnedest things. Stuff like “Hi, I’m God” or “You’ve Died, Sorry“. If you’re thinking I’ve got something wrong here then please be my guest but that’s the first of many words that got me throttling the man in front of me, presumably forever?

Let me elaborate.

~~~

“Hi there… Gwen right?” <God>

Ok, I’ve gone mad. First I get in a stupid argument that I really should not have had about the colour of my hair, then I fall asleep having some kind of kinky dream in a dungeon that I will Not go in to great detail about and now in the middle of doing my hair, which is being awful by the way, I think I’m in a white space talking to some middle aged man in a white robe which does not suit his beard.

“Ah don’t worry, you’ve not gone mad. All of that can be explained.” <God>

Oh my god, did he just read my mind?

“Ahaha, yes I did.” <God>

That’s so weird, isn’t that some kind of privacy invasion or something?

“Moving on, as you might have guessed but here’s the statement anyway. Hi, I’m God.” <God>

Uhh, hi God. What am I doing here? Some kind of major secret that involves the world we live in and only I can save the day?

“Sorry love, this ain’t that kind of movie.” <God>

What?

“I’ve always wanted to say that, Anyway big news that will change your life. It’s ended!” <God>

Magically, red and blue firework explosions gone off all over the place as if this was first prize in a magical lottery. Yup this is gonna piss me off.

You’re joking, right?

“Ahaha, I thought this would go better if I said it like that. Well here’s the blunt of it, I made a rock go in the wrong direction at quite the pace. You’ve died, sorry.” <God>

~~~

And now you’re on the right page which contains an angry girl throttling a god who’s turning bluer by the sacred bloody second, desperately making funny hand signals.

“Uncle, Uncle!” <God>

Uncle? Uncle? You killed me you little shit!

“That’s a fair point but can’t you let me off this once? I’ll even reincarnate you!” <God>

This made my hands loosen and speak up, with my actual voice this time.

“For real?” <Gwen>

“Yes, there’s a slight change but you’ll be the same as you are now and…” <God>

“DONE!” <Gwen>

“I haven’t finished explaining about the possible dange…” <God>

“Done! I don’t care about dangers, I get to live again!” <Gwen>

“Fine, but remember I tried to warn you.” <God>

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So how was that?

Better or worse then normal?

Anyway, that’s how it’s going to be from now on so I hope you’ll enjoy ^^

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